Trick or Treat: Momo or Sweets?
by Merciless Ruby
Summary: Halloween HitsuxHina one-shot! Toushiro hates Halloween! Why? Well... let's leave Officer Hinamori punish him for hating the fun holiday. Oh wait, Byakuya hates it too? WHO'S going to punish him?


**Happy Halloween! Dedicated to the spectacular holiday of today's, I'm writing this one-shot! Do ghosts and witches fly around in Seireitei? I don't know, but y'all can reeeeeeead and have a nice trick...or _treat_.**

**Rubyyyyy, the French Maid, does not own Bleach or the song, The Halloween Theme, by Marson Ramos!  
**

**---**

_Summary - Halloween Hitsu**x**Hina one-shot! Toushiro hates Halloween! Why? Well... let's leave Officer Hinamori to punish him for hating the fun holiday. Oh wait, Byakuya hates it too? WHO'S going to punish him?  
_

_--_

_If__ you don't wanna see my face  
_**Don't walk alone**_ and never watch the moon  
Cause' I'll be there to scare you  
To take your soul I'm coming soon__  
The candle is burning inside the pumpkin  
The Joker Spirit__ is walking_** down the street**

It was a rather boisterous day today in Seireitei. No one in the strict area would find the odd holiday to be as fun as humans would exclaim. Since when did Seireitei celebrate _Halloween? _Never: that was the answer. Soul Society never heard of such strange holiday: dress up and go trick-or-treating; in other words, knock on people's doors and ask for candy.

The fuku-taichou of eleventh division immediately found this interesting and fun! Obviously, anything that has to do with candy, Yachiru was always the first one to get into the situation. She pleaded and begged to Yamamoto-taichou for him to approve of the day. It took the man long hours to reply and when he did, more than half of Seireitei was overjoyed by his approval. As soon as the holiday was official, many shinigamis began creating their costumes and some bought them.

There were _some _who disagreed with the idea, but did not care whether it was approved or not, and on the other hand, there were a few who already loathed Halloween, in point of fact, not a few, but one.

Toushiro Hitsugaya thought that the _"holiday" _was plain ridiculous. Dress up and ask for candy? He gets _dressed up_ everyday, but he hates candy. The always-cranky taichou opinioned of it as a waste of time like his unchecked paperwork he does.

_'What are you dressing as?' _Questions like that flew around Seireitei all day long, and he was sick of hearing it. Matsumoto wouldn't shut up for over the past five days about what to be: a lesbian human school girl or a sexy referee. Toushiro has seen most of the female outfits Seireitei has been making, and he was nervous of Momo dressing up. He didn't want to see his best friend wearing a skimpy outfit.

The busy taichou lifted his head up once he heard a knock on the door. "Come in," he said, not removing his eyes from his papers.

"Trick or Treat!"

The young captain rose his head up and saw Hanatarou standing in front of him with a bag in his hands. Toushiro raised an eyebrow, as he glanced at the shinigami questioningly.

"What are you supposed to be?" the taichou asked.

"I'm Unohana-taichou." He replied, looking down at his _costume._

Hanataro looked down at his outfit and blushed embarrassingly. The young shinigami wore his regular Soul Reaper uniform, but along with a white long sleeve cloak, similar to Unohana's, and a wig but with a braid cascading down his face and stopping my his ankles. He had bright pink lipstick on and, what seemed to be, paper crumbled inside his chest. Toushiro ignored the ugly costume and shook his head.

"Leave, I have no candy."

Hanatarou pouted, and sadly, he turned around and exited. Toushiro sighed and continued doing his unending work. However, he halted as another knock was heard.

"Come in."

The door opened, revealing three strange men. Toushiro looked up and his eyes almost popped out as Renji, Ishida, and _Ichigo _were standing in front of him.

"Trick or Treat!" chanted Renji and Ichigo, leaving an embarrassed Ishida behind.

Toushiro raised his slender eyebrow and stared at the three men strangely.

"What are you three dressed as?"

"I'm a cow." Replied Renji, squishing his costume's anatomy, "By the way, taichou, cows go MOOOO!"

"I'm a banana…" Ishida replied, pushing his glasses up, "…and I'm very delicious in the inside."

"And I'm a whore." Replied Ichigo, fixing the bra Orihime let him borrow. He wore a skimpy black tank top with a mini jean skirt and four-inch heels. "My tits are supposed to be bigger than Matsumoto's, but I couldn't find any more paper. I had to run out of there before Byakuya saw me. I have better legs than Soi-Fon, bigger butt than Momo's-"

Toushiro's icy cold glare cut off the teasing substitute shinigami. How dare he talk about Momo's rear-end in front of him? Sure, no one knew about his feelings for her, but he doesn't accept anyone making fun of her. Moreover, her butt wasn't small, or saggy (in case Ichigo dared to say) at all. Toushiro knew….

Tauntingly, Ichigo sexually walked over to Toushiro and stood behind him, wanting the cold captain to cool down and have fun today. A daring smirk came across his lips as he seductively placed his leg over Toushiro's lap and placed his hands on his shoulders. Renji and Ishida waved their hands to him, telling him to stop and run away before – but it was too late….

"KUROSAKIIIIIIII!"

_A few hours later…._

Toushiro hated, no, _despised _Kurosaki Ichigo! How dare he flirt around with him like that? Toushiro wasn't a big fan of him before, and now, he never will. Toushiro felt disgusted when the orange-haired want to-be _whore _began to flirt around with him. Ishida and Renji tried to warn him, but Toushiro was so angry that he didn't give Ichigo a chance to escape. Immediately, he had frozen the shinigami's hands, but before he could've attacked him, Renji the Cow grabbed his friend and, along with Ishida, ran out of the room.

Toushiro wanted to run after the three of them, but he had to paperwork to do! He couldn't let Ichigo's retarded games get to him.

"Come in.," the captain said angrily, once hearing another knock on the door.

"Trick or Treat!"

Oh no… Toushiro looked up and saw both Orihime and Matsumoto standing in front of him with their hands placed on their hips.

"I have no treats for you two; now get out."

"Aw, that's not nice taichou." Matsumoto pouted, fixing her costume once she and Orihime sat on each front corners of his desk.

Matsumoto was a sexy referee, wearing a skimp short dress that revealed a large amount of cleavage, which reached a centimeter above her thigh and black and white Converse shoes with black and white socks that reached her knees.

Orihime was a ringmaster. She wore a black tube top-like leotard with knee-length black boots, long-sleeve gloves that reached about four inches before her shoulders, and a black hat.

"Who said I was supposed to be nice?" he inquired, his eyebrow twitching.

"….Because it's Halloween! You should celebrate with-"

"No, now get out; both of you!"

Nevertheless, both buxom women decided to ignore him and continue to urge him to dress up and have fun; or at least give them some candy. However, once they felt the room temperature dropping dramatically, both women turned around and ran out of the room.

_Finally, some peace and quiet, _he thought, cracking his aching fingers and glaring at the annoying paperwork in front of him. Why was this holiday such a big thing? What was so fun about it? What was so fun about dressing up like a whore, banana, cow, ringmaster, or _Unohana_?

Toushiro's temper was boiling inside his small body. People just had to bother him just because it was Halloween! Why couldn't they bother someone else? Do they really want him to dress up and walk around asking for candy? _Ridiculous_, he thought, pressing his pen tightly against the paper. Toushiro knew he needed a break, but he couldn't show his face around them! They would all annoy him to dress up!

After finishing with the sixtieth paper, he put it on a pile and grabbed another one. However, before he could begin, _another annoying knock _was heard on his door.

"Come…in." he said through his gritted teeth.

The door slid opened and suddenly… "TRICK OR TREAT, WHITEY-CHAN!"

Toushiro almost snapped his pen in half as he glared at the annoying pink haired shinigami in front of him, along with Kenpachi, Yumichika, and Ikkaku.

"I have no candy, now get out."

"Aw, you're not dressed, Whitey-Chan!" Yachiru whined sadly, "Where's the fun of Halloween if you're not dressed up?!"

"Halloween isn't _fun_, it's ridiculously stupid. Dress up and ask for candy? That's lame…"

"No it's not! Everyone enjoys dressing up however they want! Even Kenny and Baldy are dressed up!"

Touchiro looked up and glanced at the three men oddly. "Who are you three suppose to be?"

"I'm Popeye," replied Ikkaku, fixing his white hat.

"I'm a priest." Kenpachi told him, holding a necklace of Jesus Christ and then kissing it.

"I'm a naughty schoolgirl," replied Yumichika, fixing his _very _short red with black-striped skirt and white-collar shirt that revealed his flat stomach and fake cleavage. He had knee-length boots on and a lollipop in his hands.

"…And I'm a Butterfly Princess!" Yachiru chanted, jumping up and down.

"Don't care, not get _out_. I'm working!"

Yachiru pouted and sadly pointed at him. "You should be the devil, Whitey-chan! You have no Halloween spirit! I bet Kuchiki-taichou has candy for me!"

The young lieutenant ran out of his office, and the three weird looking men followed her out, now leaving a very calmed Toushiro. _Even Kenpachi was dressed up,_ Toushiro thought of it as weird and stupid. Why would Kenpachi want to dress up? He doesn't need a mask to scare the crap out of anyone.

Sighing, Toushiro turned his attention to his paperwork, but then, another knock was heard. _That's it…_ he angrily thought, stomping over to the door. Immediately, he slid the door open and glared at whoever was outside.

"I have no candy so- Momo!?"

"Trick or Treat, Hitsugaya-kun!" Momo said gladly, walking inside and embracing him. "Happy Halloween! Where's your costume though?"

No response.

Toushiro was too shocked at Momo's costume that he didn't realize that his staring at her body was obvious. Momo wore a blue long-sleeve shirt that finished just below her breasts and a black leather miniskirt that reached an inch or two above her mid thighs, revealing her flat stomach, with a blue FBI hat on and knee-length boots. _What's Momo thinking? _Since when did his Bed-Wetter Momo have such an _attractive _body like that?

"Momo…what are you suppose to be?"

"I'm a sexy and naughty police officer!" she responded enthusiastically.

Toushiro's cheeks tainted pink, as he couldn't help and stare at her body. Why would his innocent Momo wear such a thing?

"Momo, that's too revealing." He said, coughing as he tried to control himself.

The fuku-taichou frowned and glared at him. "Shiro-chan, stop being so mean today. Everybody told me that you aren't giving out candy _and _you're not even in a costume!"

"Halloween is for idiots, Momo."

"Oh, I'm an idiot?" she asked, tapping her foot angrily.

Toushiro's eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. "No, Momo, I wasn't meaning you. I..uh… I meant the holiday! It's-"

"Fun! You're just angry because you have no one to enjoy it with! But, do not worry Hitsugaya-kun, you'll enjoy Halloween!" she said.

Toushiro was about to ask what she was going to do, but suddenly, she grabbed him by his arm and dragged him over to his chair. Abruptly, she pushed him and sat him down. Then, she grabbed his arms and pulled them back of the chair.

"Momo, what are you doing?"

"Punishing you…," she replied, getting her handcuffs and tying him against the bars of the chair.

The taichou's eyes widened, trying to escape. "Momo, let me go, _now_."

"Oh no! You need to be punished for thinking that Halloween is for idiots!" she said.

"…And what punishment will you give me, Bed-Wetter Momo?"

"This…." She said, sitting on his lap and placing her lips on the soothing skin of his neck.

Toushiro's eyes widened as his body shivered. Oh, he hated when she did this to him. Whenever he would act _grumpy_, she would punish him this way; and the worse part was that he always fell for it. "M-Momo, d-don't do that. You're torturing me…"

"Mmm, good..." she said, giggling.

Toushiro hyperventilated as he saw her miniskirt go up her pale thighs, revealing her pink undergarments. What was she doing to him? She was torturing him, that's what she's doing to him. Toushiro was enjoying the moment, for sure, but he didn't want to be tied up.

_Momo's going to pay for this… _he thought, feeling her kisses go up and down his face.

He looked into her eyes and saw them sparkle with enjoyment. Slowly, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. Smirking, Toushiro was about to dip his tongue in, but quickly, she pulled back and giggled.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you Hitsugaya-kun?"

Flushed, Toushiro glared at her. "Momo let me go, _now_!"

"Why? We're not even half way through our game!"

"Well _skip _the parts and get to the ending."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes!" he replied, wanting revenge already.

Momo giggled and removed her skimpy shirt, revealing her black brassiere.

"Alright then…" she mumbled, leaning down and undoing his sash. Toushiro's eyes widened and he stared down at her. He loved but hated the most in this part.

"Momo, what do you think you're going to do?"

"You said to skip to the ending. So, I'm skipping to the ending…" she said, soon after his sash was untied, pulling his pants down.

Toushiro's eyes widened as his boxers were then gone too.

_Uh no… _he thought, his eyes widening and his body tensing.

This was definitely going to turn out into a very strange Halloween. She was already doing the trick, but where were his treats?

_~ Change Scene ~_

Kuchiki-taichou hated Halloween, and he was glad when he heard that he wasn't the only one. He knew that he and Toushiro were going to be great friends. They both thought that Halloween was ridiculous no matter how _fun _it looks.

The stoic taichou was inside his office finishing Renji's work since his lieutenant went trick or treating to the human world. A soft knock was heard, and the man looked up.

"Come in," he said in his low-toned voice.

Slowly, the door slid opened and soon, it revealed a familiar person. Byakuya's eyes widened as he almost dropped his pen. What was he doing here? He had no right to be in his office! He told him months ago to never contact him or to do anything that involves him!

"Hey sexy, I've been looking for you."

"Kurosaki? What do you think you're doing?"

"S-Something I should've done a _looooooong _time ago." Ichigo said, his skirt falling to his ankles and his bottle of Sake already emptied.

The orange-haired shinigami threw his bottle somewhere and suddenly jumped on the taichou's desk. Seductively, he placed his long leg on top of the man's shoulder.

"Now, what would you like, Byakuya-kun: trick…or my treats?"

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**OK I'm finished! UGH... Anyway, so I hope y'all had a safe Halloween (if you celebrated it). I was a French Maid this year, and I'm already thinking of dressing as a boy next year. So, if you dressed up, what were you dressed as?**

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
**


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